Boost your childs confidence (52 Brilliant Ideas)
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She adds that emotional encouragement from parents shows children that their feelings are healthy, normal, and able to be managed. It means showing your child you accept them and their emotions unconditionally , imparting strength and resilience to your child, and a confidence in their emotions.
Bartlett offers a perfect example of this in action, in respect of a girl who had been excluded from a game at the playground. Bullying is about power, and dominance. This website has a really useful overview of what constitutes bullying actions. When it happened again the next day, however, and within minutes a different girl was invited to swap-in for another participant, that line became blurred. On day three this was repeated, and my daughter was pretty sure she was being left out on purpose. We had now stepped into the realm of bullying. The perpetrator was swiftly identified by my daughter and her friends.
They boycotted the game en masse and, thankfully on this occasion, the issue was resolved. Everyday interactions with our children offer ample opportunities for helping prepare them for dealing with social exclusion:. Social exclusion can occur at any time and in many different ways. We can help our kids by providing low-level, ongoing encouragement that gives them the tools, and helps prepare their foundations of inner strength so they can cope whenever it strikes. Freelance writer and editor Cally Worden lives with her family and dog in a quiet corner of rural France.
When she isn't knee-deep in glitter-and-glue craft projects she writes. And drinks too much coffee. You can follow her blog at www. My 6 yr. This article helped me a lot but wondering if I should talk to the teacher about this. The girls exclude her possibly because of jealousy? Nanny Linda. I will never tell my child to not be good at something to make other kids feel good about themselves.
I am encouraging him to make new friends, but not burn bridges. Bitter much? My ten year old girl is being left out by the kids in my residential complex deliberately as the dominant girl in the group has been reprimanded by me once for her warning the other girls to not play with my daughter. I am pretty sure my kids are being excluded from sporting teams due to other parents disliking me. We have been here two years and I am socially awkward and know I have said things that I regret and am paranoid that I came across as arrogant when I am the exact opposite.
My daughter is 12 yrs old and first year doing cheer. As a squad I find it very harsh for this wishywashy way of being and feel that an effort to include them and all of them is so important. We have spent a lot of time effort and money into making this experience happen and it just seems like it may not be as willing to embrace inclusion as much as I would expect.
So frustrated! My 8 year old is being left out of games and the little girls in the class have secrets which she is not allowed to know. She feels very hurt. I am a heart broken mom and I just want to protect my baby girl. Defence secretary Gavin Williamson discovered on Good Morning Britain why avoiding the question during a media interview is the wrong approach to take. Politicians have employed this tactic for years, yet it annoys the hell out of those conducting the Read More.
Making the most of the media. Master the art of communication to boost your sales By Delyth Hughes and Steve Hemsley PR in its most basic form is all about communication with your customer and clients. Why you are never talking to the journalist during a media interview. Many people have a phobia about talking to journalists. Strange comment I hear you cry when a reporter is in front of you with a notebook Why a media opportunity is a business opportunity.
Don't be scared of the media What frustrates you about how some people view your Why journalists need you to be great storytellers. All I ask is that you please refrain from laughing out loud. My child is different. She is bullied. She is socially awkward and slow to pick up on social cues. She is told by teachers to not answer questions so much. She is told to not raise her hand so much in class. She is told in groups to not talk so much and to not say the answer even if she knows it. She is told daily to be silent, sit still and not participate.
She is not taught the skills she needs — such as how to better understand people, how to read facial expressions, how to tolerate sensations such itchy tags.
Boost Your Child's Confidence
She just needs to not interfere in their education, in their inspiration and in their time. She has almost no friends. She has no one her age to share her interests with. Children daily tell her she thinks she is so smart but really she is terrible. Teachers tell her this is her fault. She needs to be silent more and then the children will like her more. She needs to pretend to share their interests and then the children will stop making fun of her.
She needs to change into someone else. And you will say to yourself… But I am this person. And in that statement, that correction, there will be a kind of love. My heart hurts. Love and prayers to you and your child. We need to do better by gifted children than requiring them to be chameleons — without telling them how. I am not getting the problem here. Actually, education is like Christmas.
We deal with it on a regular basis — with friends, family, educators and strangers. I wish they would find one. It would save us all a lot of stress. Which every time you change the name of those classes, it just becomes the new taunt. My theory is that the problem is at the root of our culture, an equation that most people seem to carry around in their head without realizing it. I was a working class gifted kid. My community was fairly homogenous though and most of us were working class, and we somehow skipped having that mental equation.
We were just a couple of generations removed from Appalachian subsistence farmers, so our culture was more about working together to survive than about competing against each other for survival. Or much bullying in general. I have noticed in many many mainstream i. Because I grew up in a working class community, I never knew about the prejudice against and hatred for gifted people until I got on the internet.
But after years of observing the online conversation about it, I really think that the issue is not the kids, or their parents, or the word. The issue is American culture, and how it pits people against each other and how it values money above all else and how it is drenched in bigotry and it does not give equal opportunity to everyone.
But when I got online and found mainstream middle class culture — then came the ostracism, the bullying, the invalidation, the lack of understanding, the projection of insecurities on to me. Changing the culture will. Person, this is very sad and very true. Thank you for your perspective. It needs to be remembered. I am also a gfown up GT kid. You never outgrow all the anxiety, need for structure, social awkwardness as you age because it is who you are as a gifted person with excitabilities and intelligence.
It is extremely difficult to get the educational needs of my gifted children met in public school. I keep scrolling down thinking I have so much to say about this topic and more and more people are saying it far better than I ever could. Well done friend. This made me cry. I have 3 kids. One struggles terribly with self-confidence. One struggles terribly in relationships. I love them and believe in all of them like crazy.
Your words inspired me to love them even better. A dear friend sent me this post since it touches on a conversation she and I have had for several months now. I am gifted. I have two gifted kids. I am also a person with a disability. Language with powerful and words and labels change as our societal perceptions change. Sometimes changing words can help change perceptions. That word did not always have a negative connotation it does today.
We all have lots of labels. As we go through our days and our lives those labels are more or less relevant, damaging or helpful. It is not relevant halfway through Bikram yoga class. It sometimes gives me some credibility in some meetings. Labels inform- and sometimes they shape feelings, emotions and perceptions. Sometimes that is bad. Sometimes it is good. They are. If I have a file cabinet of folders for documents and papers and they have no labels I have an unorganized mess that is unmanageable.
Labels for people do too- they help us sort information and make sense of what we are facing. The problem is when we make faulty assumptions or prioritize the information in a way that limits the opportunity that each interaction with another human. All those worries in your head could impede your ability to know the delightful being that is me. Now for this gifted business. What is the reluctance? Are we afraid we will be accused of bragging about our kids? Would we be doing some good if we started talking about it so we can start educating?
One of the characteristics of a lot of gifted kids is that they can be overly sensitive and that is why he was so upset when Joey upset the fire ant mound because it hurt the fire ants and affected the ecosystem in the backyard. Should we change the language? Yes- all of us, and all kids, have gifts and talents. Kids who are gifted as defined by a fairly narrow criteria have talents and gifts too. They all have some very specific needs that need to be understood and addressed.
Wow, I needed this today! Had parent teacher interviews with my little son, who is in kindergarten and was feeling badly after that. Hard to hear some of the things he needs to work on and i could tell his feelings were a bit hurt. Reading this felt like a gift to me today and a great perspective. What a planet full of only gifted people we have!!
I applaud parents who are proactive in helping each of their children meet their fullest potential. And I understand your desire to move the conversation forward even if that means using new or different words to do so. We deserve a seat at the table. I would urge any well-meaning group or individual looking to advocate on behalf of their children or students for new language to define this population—partner with the adults of this population.
We deserve the privilege to define our identity, no different than any other special population expects and demands. All children matter to the people who love them. All children are worthy of love and support. All children have potential that should be nurtured. All children have a part to play in the world. Those are the things that are important for children to know, and I think they are what Glennon was trying to say.
We can be wounded by school through the comparisons that are forced on us by testing and grades, and the assumptions people make about our futures: wounds of underestimation, wounds of not being seen or valued, wounds of low expectations. Those wounds are real; they should be acknowledged and we should work to heal them.
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But there are other kinds of school wounds: wounds of cutting down or undermining success, wounds of being required to go through the motions of what you already know, day after day until you are completely drained of your once vibrant passion for learning, wounds of denial of your abilities. Instead of seeing the acknowledgment of giftedness as the thing that is wounding, maybe we can see that it is the institution of school and comparisons, the rankings, the sorting that it requires to operate on its industrial model as the thing that is wounding.
Thanks for the recommendation! Your post definitely resonated with me.
At 30 years old, I still have so much frustrating and cynicism about K school as a result of the very things you described. My thoughts have been skittering around while reading this post and the comments. I admit that I enjoyed the post more than I anticipated since I began in warily. I was in GT in elementary and my oldest daughter is too. You see, I absolutely agree that all children are gifted and talented. Here is why. I am the oldest of five children. In third grade, I was tested and put into the Gifted and Talented program. It was great getting a chance to stretch my brain further and flex my budding creativity.
Two years later, my sister followed me into the program. By this time, my brother had made it clear that learning was not going to be easy for him.
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He was held back in kindergarten, resulting in his former classmates calling him flunker for the next five years of his life. His time was split between the regular classroom and Special Education classes. He was put in a big box to help keep him from getting distracted. He literally had to sit, surrounded by cardboard while he was in the regular classroom.
He was always behind getting his work done and misbehaving so that every recess was spent with his head against a brick wall while kids played around him because he was in trouble. They spent hours every night teaching him things he would have forgotten in the morning. They fought teachers about his I. Let me tell you, that kid lit our lives up. He was a ball of adventure, creativity, innovation, and mechanical genius. We never knew what knew thing he was going to do make us laugh, amaze us, or scare us to death.
Her life was not as extreme as my brothers, but it was difficult in many ways for her. She too attended Special Education Classes. He seemed to be like the other students, except of course that he was an individual with his own struggles and strengths. Smart, but slow and meticulous, as well as quiet. That made classroom performance difficult though he learned everything easily.
Today, all five of us have a four year college degree, my first sister with a Masters of Education specialized for Special Education. She currently devotes most of everyday to the rigors of helping her students. All of us have spent our lives finding our talents and developing them. Because my parents invested themselves in each of us individually. We never doubted our worth or potential because they never did. They never let any of us give up or do less than we were capable of. So where do I stand on the name Gifted and Talented?
What a beautiful word to be so twisted around to mean something hurtful and degrading. Especially when it should never have been a negative thing that they needed to be taught a different way to succeed. GT is vital in helping students to reach their potential and have self-worth.
My daughter goes once a week to her special class where she flourishes, but is very accepted and comfortable in the regular class room where she has many friends. But that name would still represent what these kids are capable of and what they need. Would that name not take on the same hurtful connotations? Should the class be done away with?
Absolutely not. They need that class as much as any kid in Special Education need theirs. Even to gifted people. Contrary to what others might think, gifted people think about this a lot. At the same time, listen to these mamas and open your hearts to learning about the uneven physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of these kids who benefit from a specialized kind of guidance through certain parts of life. It was never about the right books, toys or music when they were little. Baby was born this way.
Soon they learn everyone else seems to be handling this living thing with a lot less intensity and questioning from others. It is more about how a little kid is wired to take in the world, think about it, feel about it, and make connections years beyond the total of their time spent living life. They know deep down that they are different not better. We can provide you lots of examples of what they are told by adults and kids about their different-ness.
While the words are often not mean-spirited, the sting they invoke helps build that next layer of lonely feeling. We agree! Help intellectually gifted kids find acceptance and a place where they feel safe and free to be who they are without worrying about shining too brightly or being cut down. And our little ones will know all the mamas care. Glennon, your post is beautiful and I just have to share with you how some of the negative comments actually helped me. I always just thought it meant I was extra-smart, and no one ever told me differently. No one told me that there are so many behavioral things that can go with it.
I am in my thirties and I feel like so much of my life is making sense now. Even the bad can lead to good. Love wins. God bless you. And it might do you some good to explore it too and how it informed your childhood experiences.
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SarahB, Thank you for your taking the time to respond and for your encouragement. So lovely of you! It changed my life. Bottom line is every kid has different challenges, talents, and needs and educators should and usually do if they have the capacity try to give each child what they need.
I think that what you are missing is this — an autistic child or a dyslexic child could also be gifted. It could be AND. If one of these children were gifted on top of their other disability, they would need their gifted needs to be addressed, as well. All children are a gift, but the word gifted is actually a special needs designation. I was am? Did well in grade school, did well in college, doing just fine in life. And I really missed out. There were some really amazing people that I am only now getting a glimpse of.
People who are kind, and intelligent, and remarkable. I would not have gotten dumber if I had been in a class with them. I would like to think that, in some small way, I might have been a good influence on them. I know that they would have had a good influence on me. Any time you expand your world, your broaden your mind. My children go to a school with no gifted program. There are kids across the spectrum in each class, and they work together in project based learning. If one child has a solid understanding of a concept, he will help another one that is struggling.
These children do not get bored; they are always encouraged to delve deeper into the subjects they are studying. As an employer, this is what I need my future workforce to know. I need them to be able to work with a variety of people. I need them to be able to be self directed, and not wait for me to hand them work, but to find their own opportunities to grow and make themselves valuable.
I need them to know how to learn on their own, because continuous education is a requirement for most jobs these days. Nobody even puts it on their resume. If school is preparing them for adulthood, why do they need the labels there, either? I love your summary. I had no intention to reply to this thread at all, but in so many ways, this describes my adult thoughts on it so well. For me, a big part of what inspires the icky taste I have for gifted programs is the segregation.
The teachers certainly had a positive spin, and it was never the school that made it into an obnoxious label [aside from their obvious contribution of just having the program. My general gut reaction was infuriated that not only did were kids like my daughter perceived as having little valuable interaction to offer in the classroom because she, like so many others, of course do , but that her opportunities would become very scarce to watch some of her peers with very academically valuable skills in action and potentially pick up on some of the ways they think through problems.
I wish our public schools would focus more on showing kids how to work cooperatively with a wide spectrum of people. I certainly could have benefited from that myself. I saw this the other day and I have to say it did ruffle my feathers, even though I knew what you were really trying to say. I think the hot responses come from this long term fight from those of us who know these kids that we constantly fight for them. They almost never last.
Some do, but it is out of sheer work and determination, which is different from that need that was discussed earlier. I know your heart was in the right place on this post. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create — — — so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him.
He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating. And then I remembered that blog post, and a book I read on gifted kids, and it was like a light went on: this is why I am the way that you am, and nothing is wrong with me. It has been so interesting to read all of these comments. I was slightly wary of the article, but the responses have been overwhelmingly well informed, with great explanations.
I was also a gifted child, unfortunately in a country which did very little to support us. I have moved overseas to raise my own family. I agree that the one of the bigger issues here is the label. Throughout my childhood, I had many of the same mental and emotional issues that many other gifted children face, trying to take my own life several times before I was 10 years old. It can be cheap and easy to take measures like skipping a kid forward, rather than bullying them until they snap. To this day, most of the adults I know who were gifted children from my home town are battling severe depression and mental illness and several are unable to work.
When I see the amazing things that can be done to support gifted children overseas, it makes me so sad that we all had to go through such hell as children and become such damaged adults. Neuroatypical shows that these kids do need extra help and support. Stacy — I have never seen so eloquent a description of my son until I read the Pearl Buck words you provided. Thank you a million times over. Thank you Stacy.
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At school being picked up for being so mature and confident at 6. He would come home crying saying, I do not understand it. Why they play with my feelings as if I was their toy, just for their own amusement? He is passionate to no end about all animals. One day while reading a book, they showed the picture of an animal in Australia who has been extincted. He started crying and said, mom, why? Why humans do that?. Now I will never get to meet it in person!